I often feel overwhelmed and insecure when compared to colleagues who excel in verbal communication.

How can I navigate these emotions and find the confidence to highlight my unique strengths effectively?”

You’ve been there—sitting in a meeting, listening to a colleague articulate their thoughts so effortlessly that you wonder:

• “I wish I could communicate like that.”
• “I thought of that idea too, but what if I fumble while explaining it?”
• “Why can’t I find the right words as quickly as they can?”

It’s that lingering feeling of “Why am I not like them?”—a thought that can quietly chip away at your confidence.

Let me tell you something that may surprise you—those colleagues you admire? They’ve felt this way too. Almost everyone, no matter how composed they appear, has faced moments of doubt, especially when verbal communication isn’t their natural strength.

The secret? They didn’t focus on becoming someone else. They found ways to lean into their own unique strengths. And so can you.

Let’s explore how to shift from comparison to confidence and bring your authentic value to the forefront.

The comparison trap starts when you focus on what you lack, not what you bring. The truth is, you already contribute qualities others admire—you just may not see them yet.

Practical Step:

• Reflect on past feedback.
• What do people consistently appreciate about you—your thoughtfulness, problem-solving, empathy, or ability to simplify complex ideas?
• Lean into these strengths during meetings.

Example:
If you’re known for offering well-thought-out insights, position yourself as the person who brings depth to the conversation.

Emotional Shift:
Comparison loses its grip when you own your strengths. You don’t need to be the most outspoken voice in the room to have influence.

Let me share a secret: Many people who seem naturally confident are incredibly prepared. They anticipate questions, rehearse key points, and walk into meetings ready, not relying on spontaneity.

Practical Step:

• Before any meeting, identify two points you want to contribute.
• Practice articulating them out loud—yes, even to yourself in the mirror.

Example:
Heading into a strategy session? Prepare by asking yourself:

• “What’s one risk others might overlook?”
• “How does my perspective add value to this conversation?”

Emotional Shift:
Preparation dissolves insecurity. When you know your material, your confidence in delivering it skyrockets.

Great communication isn’t about speaking first; it’s about speaking when it matters. The most impactful voices are often those that listen deeply and respond thoughtfully.

Practical Step:

• Focus on summarizing key points during meetings to show active engagement.
• Use phrases like:
  “It sounds like the main challenge is X. Would exploring Y help address that?”

Example:
Instead of feeling pressured to compete for airtime, anchor yourself in being the person who clarifies and connects the dots.

Emotional Shift:
Realizing that listening is a strength, not a weakness frees you from the need to “perform.” It transforms quiet observation into leadership.

Confidence isn’t something you “get”—it’s something you build. Start in low-pressure environments and scale up gradually.

Practical Step:

• Begin by contributing in one-on-one meetings or smaller team discussions.
• As you grow comfortable, gradually increase the size of the audience.

Example:
In smaller meetings, say:

• “I’ve been thinking about this, and I believe [X] could be beneficial. What are your thoughts?”

Emotional Shift:
Each small win chips away at insecurity. Over time, you’ll realize that speaking up becomes second nature.

That inner voice whispering “You’re not as good as them” isn’t reality—it’s fear. Acknowledge it, but don’t let it drive the conversation.

Practical Step:

• The next time comparison creeps in, remind yourself:
  “Their strength doesn’t diminish mine.”
• Pair this with a physical reset—take a deep breath or adjust your posture.

Example:

• Use affirmations like:
  “I contribute in ways that are valuable and unique.”

Emotional Shift:
The moment you realize insecurity is just a voice, not the truth, you take back control.

If verbal communication isn’t your strongest suit, leverage other forms of expression. Written summaries, follow-ups, and thoughtful emails carry just as much weight as spoken words.

Practical Step:

• After meetings, send a follow-up email summarizing key points and next steps.
• This reinforces your ideas and shows leadership initiative.

Example:
“Following our discussion, I’ve outlined the next steps we agreed on. Let me know if there’s anything to add. I look forward to contributing to [X project].”

Emotional Shift:
Your impact isn’t limited to the meeting room. When you use different mediums to express your thoughts, your strengths shine just as brightly.

The Bigger Picture:
Here’s the part I saved for last—this approach has already worked for others.

One Associate Director faced this exact challenge. Overwhelmed by more outspoken colleagues, they felt invisible in meetings. By shifting focus to preparation, listening, and strategic follow-ups, they not only found their voice but became the person leaders turned to for clarity.

The outcome? Their manager called them a “calming force” and a critical asset to the team’s decision-making process.

Your path doesn’t need to look like theirs. But by embracing your strengths, you can navigate self-doubt and show up powerfully—not by being louder, but by being undeniably valuable.

Your voice matters—not because it mirrors anyone else’s, but because it’s yours.